In complimenting a good deed, the word is also meant to highlight how people who witness the act but do not directly benefit from it are touched by the benevolence. In Taiwanese, people say “感心,” or “kám-sim,” which means “feel heart,” to express gratitude. In a famous essay included in many high school textbooks called “Xiè Tiān,” writer Zhifan Chen noted, “Because there are too many people that we feel grateful to, let’s thank sky then.” The writer redirects individuals’ gratitude toward an all-encompassing universe, one that includes all things and all beings. Many Chinese people, for example, use the phrase “謝天,” or “xiè tiān,” which literally means “thank sky” as a way to express gratitude to all things under the sky. This is why, we argue, it can be enlightening to look at other languages of gratitude. But if we were to enter into relationships only on the premise of what benefits us personally, and potentially materially, then it can be very limiting. The American language of gratitude tends to reflect the fact that many of us might see relationships as interpersonal transactions. But it can also lead people to see their personal and impersonal relationships in economic terms – as transactions to be judged by market criteria of gain and loss. Thinking of gratitude as a kind of transaction can indeed encourage people to form mutually beneficial relationships. We say, “I owe you a debt of gratitude,” “Thanks, I owe you one,” “One good turn deserves another,” and “How can I ever repay you?” In American English, many of the expressions of gratitude are couched in transactional language that involves expressions of personal indebtedness. Then too it is said with great solemnity, with eye contact, and perhaps even with hands at heart center in namaste position. Thank you is appropriate when it is deeply and truly felt, and in situations where a person goes above and beyond the normal expectations of a relationship. In many relationships – for instance, between parents and children or between close friends – saying thank you is considered inappropriate in these countries because it introduces a sense of formality that takes away the intimacy of the relationship. In the article I’ve Never Thanked My Parents for Anything, author Deepak Singh, an immigrant from northern India to the United States, explains that “in the Hindi language, in everyday gestures and culture, there is an unspoken understanding of gratitude.” A deep degree of unspoken gratitude is assumed in interpersonal relationships through this expression. In many cultures in South and Southeast Asia, including in India, where the expression in Hindi is “धन्यवाद,” spelled out as “dhanyavaad” in English. Given how often Americans say “thanks,” it might be surprising to know that in several other cultures around the world, people rarely say “thank you.” Though some of these “thank yous” are undoubtedly heartfelt, many are also routine and said without much feeling.
As communication scholars who study intercultural communication, we have studied how the many languages around the world have their own unique words and expressions for saying “thank you.” In turn, these expressions reveal very different assumptions about how human beings relate to one another and about the world we collectively inhabit.Īmericans are known the world over for saying “thank you” in many everyday situations.